You've been seeing each other for a while and it seems that, with each moment spent, the two of you are getting closer on all levels. You're pretty certain that he might be "the one" but, yet, every time the subject of making things permanent comes up he seems to hesitate or even pull back. So you find yourself asking: How can I get him to commit to me? I thought I had met my soul mate.
Men are heavily influenced by your acceptance or rejection and he wasn't anticipating you to be the one to bring commitment up. He might be the type who just hasn't thought about it yet or hasn't opened up to you even though he has been thinking about it for quite some time. He doesn't know if you will accept or reject him which could be the main cause of the reason for him not bringing it up. Below are some tips that will help you put that magical spell on him to take the relationship to the next step.
1. Timing is everything - If you are going to bring up "forever" doing it while driving, watching television or online is probably not going to be conducive to getting the response you want. Pick a quiet moment when there are no distractions, no schedules or time frames, just the two of you and ask him why the two of you can't be like this forever.
2. Be aware of your body language - Nothing tells all like bad body language. Your body language has so much information in it that you may not be aware of. Folded arms across your chest suggests 'closed' and defensive.
3. Owning your feelings - This is your best opportunity to let him know how much you really value him in this relationship and what he means to you. This may calm down any stress he has about the subject of commitment and chances are he will tell you his truth if you tell him yours.
4. Opportunity - Facing the truth of what he may have to say is unnerving at best. If he says "Yes" it's a green light. If he says he's not ready yet and needs more time, this is your opportunity to stay and wait for him to be ready. He may need more time than you for that big of a decision. It is a gamble that he will be ready or not, but nothing ventured is certain to lead to nothing gained.
Making a decision to commit yourself, heart and soul, to another person can be the most magical thing a person can do. Yet the process is not magic but merely the art of using your own senses and feelings to navigate the uncertain waters of romance to the blissful shores of forever.
Men are heavily influenced by your acceptance or rejection and he wasn't anticipating you to be the one to bring commitment up. He might be the type who just hasn't thought about it yet or hasn't opened up to you even though he has been thinking about it for quite some time. He doesn't know if you will accept or reject him which could be the main cause of the reason for him not bringing it up. Below are some tips that will help you put that magical spell on him to take the relationship to the next step.
1. Timing is everything - If you are going to bring up "forever" doing it while driving, watching television or online is probably not going to be conducive to getting the response you want. Pick a quiet moment when there are no distractions, no schedules or time frames, just the two of you and ask him why the two of you can't be like this forever.
2. Be aware of your body language - Nothing tells all like bad body language. Your body language has so much information in it that you may not be aware of. Folded arms across your chest suggests 'closed' and defensive.
3. Owning your feelings - This is your best opportunity to let him know how much you really value him in this relationship and what he means to you. This may calm down any stress he has about the subject of commitment and chances are he will tell you his truth if you tell him yours.
4. Opportunity - Facing the truth of what he may have to say is unnerving at best. If he says "Yes" it's a green light. If he says he's not ready yet and needs more time, this is your opportunity to stay and wait for him to be ready. He may need more time than you for that big of a decision. It is a gamble that he will be ready or not, but nothing ventured is certain to lead to nothing gained.
Making a decision to commit yourself, heart and soul, to another person can be the most magical thing a person can do. Yet the process is not magic but merely the art of using your own senses and feelings to navigate the uncertain waters of romance to the blissful shores of forever.
About the Author:
Love and relationship expert Lou Raedwulfe offers his years of experience in his newest book Soulmate Maintenance.
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