Friday 21 March 2014

Raising Children: Getting From CALM To Wise

By Saleem Rana


Dr. Laura Kastner is a psychologist and writer. She spoke to Lon Woodbury on "Parenting Choices for Struggling Teens," which is a radio talk show that is hosted on L.A. Talk Radio. She talked about raising children by going from CALM to sensible. CALM is an acronym for useful steps a bewildered mother or father could begin to take to establish self-discipline in a troubled teenager. Throughout the radio interview, she explained a variety of sensible methods based on establishing strong self-regulation that mothers and fathers could take when confronted by an angry teen.

Lon Woodbury is the founder of Woodbury Reports and has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984. Besides his work as an Educational Consultant, he is a prolific writer, and his Parent Empowerment book series is available on amazon.com.

About Dr. Laura Kastner

Dr. Laura Kastner has authored four books on parenting: The Seven Year Stretch, The Launching Years, Getting to Calm, and Wise-Minded Parenting. She is a clinical psychologist with her own private practice, as well as a clinical professor, with positions in a variety of departments, including Psychology, Psychiatry and the Behavioral Science departments at the University of Washington.

The Key of Parenting Children, Getting from CALM to sensible

One of the most vital parenting skills a mother or father can learn when it comes to managing children, is getting to CALM, pointed out Dr. Kastner. Self-control is required when a teen confronts a parent, otherwise the situation usually heats up into a shouting and yelling match. Moms and dads have to find ways to preserve their own self-control to ensure that they can actually begin to model self-control for their teenagers.

CALM, she clarified, is an acronym for the steps a parent could use for self-control when in conflict with their adolescent. C is for cool down and focus on your breathing; A is for assessing your choices in the moment; L is for listening closely with compassion; and M is mapping your strategy.

In discussing why the majority of adolescents began to act out in strange and unsettling ways, the guest explained that at around the age of 13, children were in the midst of an evolutionary brain change, known as remodeling, that was hard wired into them. Their brains were like a 'site under construction' because they were beginning the climb to adulthood and independent living. How teens responded to this biological change depended on their temperament. Some were quiet, some sought thrills and others were at risk of depression. Parents needed to stop leading with their emotions, and develop a calm, clear, and assertive parenting style.




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