Sunday 23 March 2014

Temper Tantrums: There Are Two Kinds, Type-One And Type-Two

By Leanna Rae Scott


I:1:T Every one of my first five babies threw temper tantrums. When my fifth child was fourteen months of age, I learned what to improve in my parenting style so I could prevent any further tantrums from him. Within a week or so after this, he was entirely and forever free of tantrums. I then used my newfound skills with the rest of my children, all eight of them, from birth on. Not one of them ever threw a tantrum, not even the two with ADHD, one of whom also had severe Oppositional Defiant Disorder. As a young adult, this daughter recently stated, "I was an extremely, totally defiant child, but, through all the many years my mother and I struggled over which one of us was going to be in charge, I always loved the way she responded to my anger."

In helping other parents totally eliminate and prevent temper tantrums with their children, I first describe to them the difference between the two kinds of temper tantrums, Type-One and Type-Two. This is an important aspect of learning to eliminate and prevent tantrums because Type-Two tantrums need additional techniques besides the ones needed for both Type-One and Type-Two tantrums.

Type-One temper tantrums are true expressions of children's anger that have escalated to states of rage, sometimes to the extreme, or even to the maximum. These expressions of anger are ones that are out-of-control or nearly so. These types of temper tantrums happen naturally as things occur to make children angry.

A Type-Two temper tantrum is not only an expression of anger (which might be fake, genuine, exaggerated, or unexaggerated) but it's also a conscious and deliberate attempt to manipulate or intimidate the caregiver. This type of temper tantrum occurs when a child isn't given what she or he wants.

Temper tantrum advice from the "experts" has traditionally included some aspect of ignoring the child's tantrums. This, I eventually found out, was faulty advice-but I steadfastly followed it in the beginning with my first five children. I eventually learned, after I eliminated the temper tantrums with my fifth baby, that ignoring tantrums was a portion of what caused them. In fact, it's my belief that ignoring temper tantrums pretty much guarantees they'll keep occurring. There are many other factors involved in total prevention and total elimination of tantrums from children's repertoires of behaviors, most certainly. I talk about these other factors as I present my methods, which I call, "Infant Anger Management." It all begins, however, with parents ending their "ignore-the-tantrum" behaviors.




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