Friday, 3 October 2014

What Can Happen With Over Parenting

By Marty Wind


Parents that are too protective of their kids will typically do what is called "over parenting" - basically, they never get their kids the room necessary to learn by themselves. Over parenting can also be seen when kids are forced to excel at school or sports, something that over obsessive parents are guilty of doing all the time. In this article, we will look at the problems of over parenting, and understanding the difference between forcing your kids to excel, and encouraging them along.

There has been a clear trend for parents to make their kids learn everything before they're ten years old. One way this occurs is by starting kids off too young on the road to academic excellence. There are all kinds of reasons why some parents do this, and they are the ones who need some counseling. On the other hand, it's not likely that a neurotic parent will read an article like this and lighten up. This is also how some kids grow up and have all kinds of problems before they get out of high school.

If you're wondering how you may be over parenting, just ask yourself if you have pushed your child into learning something they really had no interest in. Maybe your kid is doing some sport that he or she is only doing because you pressured them into. So this is something that is definite over parenting, and your kid may be reluctant to say something because they know it's what you want. Avoid destroying your kid's sense of personal independence by forcing something unwanted on him or her.

It's normal for kids to be central to the lives of parents, especially when they are very young. When your kids are born, if you take this too far, you could find yourself shelving your lives just for your kids. Sometimes parents will identify themselves with their kids, so much so that they will feel valueless without their children in their lives. What you want to do is be there for your kids, offer advice, and help them when needed. You can still have your interests, and raise your kids - it's a win-win scenario. When you do this, you can allow your kids to learn by example, observing what you do as well.

There's nothing wrong with monitoring a young child's use of the phone and computer, but it's also possible for parents to use these devices to constantly monitor their kids. If you are phoning your child's mobile number or sending texts to him or her every hour, you may be guilty of this. You maybe know that you can monitor your children with the GPS feature of their cell phone.

These aren't parents who are neglectful or abusive, merely misguided. When parents provide kids with too much attention, protection and concern, it backfires and makes them overly dependent. Like not paying any attention to your kids, this can be a problem for all involved.




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