How many times have you heard the statement "I'll never be in a position to pardon myself for what I've done?" Perhaps you're even guilty of making that statement yourself. Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing to supply another who has offended or hurt us, but forgiving ourselves seems to be even tougher. There appears to be a tendency to hold ourselves far more responsible than we hold others for the very same offense.
Why is that? 1 explanation is pride. While that may look to be a contradiction, it's actually not. Whenever we apply a different set of rules, or enact a higher set of standards for ourselves over others, that is our pride. When we are able to find it inside our self to excuse others, although not ourselves, what we are in effect exclaiming is that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are claiming that we think our self to be more discerning, sensible, more judicious and more careful than others, and we don't have any excuse for doing what we probably did and should not forgive ourselves. When God Himself, offers to forgive the sins of all who seek His forgiveness but we refuse to pardon ourselves, we are setting ourselves above others and that, is called pride.
So how does one pardon one's self? Straightforward, just like they'd pardon some other person. The beliefs are the same.
First, one must search out the forgiveness of God for all sin ultimately is against Him. King David reminded us of that when he sought forgiveness for sleeping with a married lady. He then compounded the offense when he had her partner removed from the picture by ordering him to the front lines of battle where he knew he'd be killed. In Psalm 51:3&4, he cries out to God and announces, "For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what's evil in your sight."
God is ready and waiting to excuse your sin and then, He guarantees to remember it no more.
I John 1:9 "If we confess our sin, He is dependable and just to pardon us our sin and to clean us from all unrighteousness."
The following step is to remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. In the same way you need to choose to forgive somebody, (not just try and feel happier about them or what they did) you need to opt to pardon yourself.
Next, it is very important to recollect that forgiveness does not mean excusing the action "for another person, or yourself. That's what so strong about forgiveness. It's choosing to pardon despite the incorrect or dreadful thing done to or by you. It also implies not dwelling on it any more or bringing it up again in any farther conversation, either with others, or yourself.
When true forgiveness takes place, it involves taking pity on that person and recognizing that they need grace as much as you do. Forgiving yourself means taking pity on yourself, as much as you would any other person. With that, goes recognizing and recognizing your desire for grace. Don't be hard on yourself. You're a human being with weakness and issues and a great capacity for messing up. Take responsibility for the injustices you have done, receive God's forgiveness and then extend that hand of mercy to yourself.
If, your Heavenly Father in all His greatness and power readily extends forgiveness to you when you ask, who are you not to discover how to forgive yourself?
Why is that? 1 explanation is pride. While that may look to be a contradiction, it's actually not. Whenever we apply a different set of rules, or enact a higher set of standards for ourselves over others, that is our pride. When we are able to find it inside our self to excuse others, although not ourselves, what we are in effect exclaiming is that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are claiming that we think our self to be more discerning, sensible, more judicious and more careful than others, and we don't have any excuse for doing what we probably did and should not forgive ourselves. When God Himself, offers to forgive the sins of all who seek His forgiveness but we refuse to pardon ourselves, we are setting ourselves above others and that, is called pride.
So how does one pardon one's self? Straightforward, just like they'd pardon some other person. The beliefs are the same.
First, one must search out the forgiveness of God for all sin ultimately is against Him. King David reminded us of that when he sought forgiveness for sleeping with a married lady. He then compounded the offense when he had her partner removed from the picture by ordering him to the front lines of battle where he knew he'd be killed. In Psalm 51:3&4, he cries out to God and announces, "For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what's evil in your sight."
God is ready and waiting to excuse your sin and then, He guarantees to remember it no more.
I John 1:9 "If we confess our sin, He is dependable and just to pardon us our sin and to clean us from all unrighteousness."
The following step is to remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. In the same way you need to choose to forgive somebody, (not just try and feel happier about them or what they did) you need to opt to pardon yourself.
Next, it is very important to recollect that forgiveness does not mean excusing the action "for another person, or yourself. That's what so strong about forgiveness. It's choosing to pardon despite the incorrect or dreadful thing done to or by you. It also implies not dwelling on it any more or bringing it up again in any farther conversation, either with others, or yourself.
When true forgiveness takes place, it involves taking pity on that person and recognizing that they need grace as much as you do. Forgiving yourself means taking pity on yourself, as much as you would any other person. With that, goes recognizing and recognizing your desire for grace. Don't be hard on yourself. You're a human being with weakness and issues and a great capacity for messing up. Take responsibility for the injustices you have done, receive God's forgiveness and then extend that hand of mercy to yourself.
If, your Heavenly Father in all His greatness and power readily extends forgiveness to you when you ask, who are you not to discover how to forgive yourself?
About the Author:
Burton Rager author of "Living Life Set Free" and "God's Answer?" Click to learn more about Forgiving Yourself and receive a complimentary copy of "God's Answer?" To warch a video go to How To Forgive Yourself
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