Having a great marriage from day one means respecting your spouse in these nine ways and more. You can't avoid some problems, but you can try to avoid dealing with them poorly.
As your wedding date comes and goes, you will be presented with masses of advice, some better than other ones. But if you keep these nine things in mind, your marriage will go right from the start and you can avoid some general issues that many face in the initial few years of their married life:
1. Respect the rituals. That includes the custom of an engagement band and wedding band as well as other jewelry pieces for special occasions all though a marriage. And naturally, you might as well believe in Valentine's Day. All of your friends have.
2. Don't rush into having children. Start to know each other better and enjoy being a couple before you change the dynamic by adding children. Once the kids arrive, the focus is off your relationship and onto them.
3. Avoid debt if you can. Debt is a yoke that will weigh down your life, so don't take it on if you can avoid it. You may have to take on loans for a home or car, but that new television or patio expansion can wait until you have sufficient funds in hand.
4. Don't have unrealistic expectations. Marriage involves some hard times, and it doesn't resolve the problems you already have individually or as a couple. Cope with problems as well as you can, and understand that some of them will never go completely.
5. Don't build up resentment. You've probably heard that you should not go to bed being mad, but you also should not head off to bed with anger issues that you haven't addressed. If your spouse's approach to life, career or ethics are troubling you, have the discussion now instead of later on.
6. Respect your spouse's feelings. We don't all react in the same ways , so that you can never predict your spouse's reactions with certainty. Let go of judgments and attachments to outcomes and accept that your partner will confront every issue in their own time and in their own special way.
7. Make choices together. It's alright to get a bad tire fixed without your partner's authorization, but you cannot just decide to take a week off or go and see your parent's without consulting your spouse. You share a life now, so make choices as a single unit whenever possible.
8. Endure quirks. Your other half may demand on counting the pieces of potato on the dinner plate or lining up peas in a row, and that is fine. Everybody has quirks. Tolerate them, accept them and learn to see them as adorable. There's nothing that you can do about them anyway.
9. Give some space when necessary. Everyone needs some down time, even married people. So when your spouse gets reflective or quiet, find something helpful to do by yourself. Whether that is seeing a movie by yourself or going into the spare bedroom for an hour, you'll enjoy the time too.
Does this solve each possible problem a marriage can face? Of course not. Some of your issues will be uniquely your own, and you can enjoy the challenge of dealing with them according to your own thoughts and feelings.
If you let respect guide every decision , however , you can't go wrong.
As your wedding date comes and goes, you will be presented with masses of advice, some better than other ones. But if you keep these nine things in mind, your marriage will go right from the start and you can avoid some general issues that many face in the initial few years of their married life:
1. Respect the rituals. That includes the custom of an engagement band and wedding band as well as other jewelry pieces for special occasions all though a marriage. And naturally, you might as well believe in Valentine's Day. All of your friends have.
2. Don't rush into having children. Start to know each other better and enjoy being a couple before you change the dynamic by adding children. Once the kids arrive, the focus is off your relationship and onto them.
3. Avoid debt if you can. Debt is a yoke that will weigh down your life, so don't take it on if you can avoid it. You may have to take on loans for a home or car, but that new television or patio expansion can wait until you have sufficient funds in hand.
4. Don't have unrealistic expectations. Marriage involves some hard times, and it doesn't resolve the problems you already have individually or as a couple. Cope with problems as well as you can, and understand that some of them will never go completely.
5. Don't build up resentment. You've probably heard that you should not go to bed being mad, but you also should not head off to bed with anger issues that you haven't addressed. If your spouse's approach to life, career or ethics are troubling you, have the discussion now instead of later on.
6. Respect your spouse's feelings. We don't all react in the same ways , so that you can never predict your spouse's reactions with certainty. Let go of judgments and attachments to outcomes and accept that your partner will confront every issue in their own time and in their own special way.
7. Make choices together. It's alright to get a bad tire fixed without your partner's authorization, but you cannot just decide to take a week off or go and see your parent's without consulting your spouse. You share a life now, so make choices as a single unit whenever possible.
8. Endure quirks. Your other half may demand on counting the pieces of potato on the dinner plate or lining up peas in a row, and that is fine. Everybody has quirks. Tolerate them, accept them and learn to see them as adorable. There's nothing that you can do about them anyway.
9. Give some space when necessary. Everyone needs some down time, even married people. So when your spouse gets reflective or quiet, find something helpful to do by yourself. Whether that is seeing a movie by yourself or going into the spare bedroom for an hour, you'll enjoy the time too.
Does this solve each possible problem a marriage can face? Of course not. Some of your issues will be uniquely your own, and you can enjoy the challenge of dealing with them according to your own thoughts and feelings.
If you let respect guide every decision , however , you can't go wrong.
About the Author:
Petra Bierberg is owner of Petra Jewellery and enjoys writing about designer wedding rings and sharing advice to couples that are recently engaged or married.
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